If jokes
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
If hi = hi?
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
Memes
Me listening to some random lgbtq protester say Its racist to ask somebody if they want free fried chicken
If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.
I asked the emo kid if he was depressed that his phone died before him.
If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
If Eve sacrificed the human race for an apple, what would she do for a Klondike bar?
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!
If laughter is contagious, LEO is immune.