If jokes
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Sister, you're ugly.
Other sister: I'm not your reflection.
PS. Sorry if it is not funny.
What would be Joe Biden's name if he was an orphan? "Joe."
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
If you are homeless, get a home.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
If you are poor, get money.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.