If jokes

What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?

Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?

If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"

Student: "A drinking problem."

If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.

Oh . . .

:(

Continue.

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.

If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.

If her age is on the clock, she can sit on my cock.

Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.

I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.

When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.

I have no father. Like if you relate.

What happens if you inhale too much nitrous oxide (laughing gas)?

You die of laughter.