If jokes

"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War.

"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

Friend 1: “Yeah.”

Friend 2: “Yea.”

Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

Friend 3: “I love anime.”

Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?

Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!

Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?

Kid 2: No!

If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.

  • 3

    • If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?

    I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.

  • 4

    • Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

    My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

    What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

    You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.