If jokes

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.

My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?

Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑