If jokes
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.
When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
"If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies' spawn."
- Sun Tzu
"If you can't win, lose."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
If a fly loses its wings, is it now a walk? Wait a minute, I found out a mind blower. So the 🌎 is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn't that mean all countries are called the 3rd country of 🌎? If I get 10 likes, I'll do one mind-blowing fact daily.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
If Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, does that mean that every country is a 3rd world country?