If jokes
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
Fact: If you jump off a 12-story building, you will not like the result.
Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"đ
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "Thatâs my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "Thatâs my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it wonât fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldnât fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
If you shit in a church, is it a holy shit?
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, Iâm right here if you need help."
Sister: "Thatâs my f***ing electric toothbrush!"
Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
All trucks are monster trucks if youâre afraid of trucks.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?