If jokes

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared of being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home, so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.

The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"

Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

A: It’s always 90 degrees.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.

If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?

What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one.

Bro, wait, are cannibals real, though?

Anyway, my joke is if you eat yourself, are you a cannibal?

Think about it, lol. Haha.

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?

If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,

They would be alloys.

If you have sex and your African parents find out,

“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?

People are like trees...

If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.