If jokes

You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.

  • 2

    • Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

    Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

    Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

  • 0

    • Orphans are human too! They have parents like all of us, so I don't know why they're saying it's fun to make fun of an orphan. Have you ever been too cold and wondered if your parents are going to have another child and not you? That's not funny! It is %9000,000 NO!!!!!!!!!!

    If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

    I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

    'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

    Like I said, it's really bad. :(

    Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!

    I have two things I wanna say:

    1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

    2. wtf

    What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

    What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

    You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

    If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!

    Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...

    Rape...hurt...and sell them!

    Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!

    Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

    I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

  • 0

    • If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

    Biden: *falls over on steps*

  • 4

    • Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

    Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

    Little Johnny: What are you doing?

    Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

    Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

  • 2

    • Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

    After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

  • 1