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If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

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    • "Just say no to drugs!"

    Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

    Hi, this is a good prank I did.

    So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    (Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

    Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)

    Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!

    If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."

    Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.

    My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."

    The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"

    My mom said, "I took your advice."

    If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

    Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.

    You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.

    Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.

    Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.

    The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.

    My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.

    She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭