Identity jokes
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
Girls Are Yummy Stupid
Are Really Erectable
Tasty Honey Ejaculable
Booty Everything Sucking Titties
Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
Memes
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
No Body Knows.
No body nose.
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.