Identity jokes
Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.
You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)
Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.
What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.
What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.
Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
What color would the confetti be at a baby shower in 2025?
Orange because they're having a they/them baby.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?
It uses Hershey pronouns.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
I'm fucking retarded.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.