Identity Jokes

My friend David lost his ID.

Now he is just Dav.

Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.

Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.

Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.

During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

🤣🤣🤣

The image is a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a winged character with horns asks another character with a halo, "SIR, WHAT ARE YOU?". The second panel shows the character with a halo holding two pieces of bread to his face, answering "AN IDIOT SANDWICH."

What do you call a group of transgender women?

X-Men.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

What do you call a chill transgender?

Fictional.

Bisexuals aren’t gay.

Bisexuals aren’t straight.

They’re graight! 😂

What do you call an Indian with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick.

What do you call an Indian with two wooden legs? A waste of lumber.

Hey guys, its Hailey here.

Ima start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake. We can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, You won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

I'm fucking retarded.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted somebody to call daddy

I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.

A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."

Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.

Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?

Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.

Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?

Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.

LOL xD

When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.