Identity jokes

I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

My name is Gunter.

Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"

Why do I support slavery?

Because I’m white.

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

What do you call a lesbian? Me.

Hi, I'm Madison, but for short you can call me Alex.

My name says it all.

I’m DaBaby.

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.

He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"

What do you call an orphan's family picture?

A selfie.

I'm horny and gay.

If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"

Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."

What do you call a crazy lesbian?

Fruit Loops.

What's the difference between sex and gender?

You can't have gender with your sister.

I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.