How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Identity Jokes
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Why are most vacuums gay?
They’re always coming out of the closet.
Why [does] a tranny say "Have a good day" to a Jew?
He [is a] goy.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
What do you call a white guy who can actually dance? Jewish.
I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:
"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
