Identity jokes
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
What does the + sign stand for in LGBTQ+?
It’s the premium version of gay.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Devora Malka, the Nora School, Silver Springs, Maryland, also known as Opal.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
Who was the most successful transgender and transracial person in history?
Michael Jackson. He grew up a poor, black boy, and died a rich, white woman.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.
I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Son: Dad, I have black skin and you have white skin, are you sure you're my parents?
Dad: Oh... well I never thought it would come to this, or to your head that you were kidnapped...
Son: Am I kidnapped?
Dad: Well, you're adopted, and if you want to see your biological parents, they’ll be waiting for you in heaven.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
What do you call five Black people having sex?
Threesome.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.