Hygiene jokes
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
Why did the rapper take a bath before his concert?
To get his flow SQUEAKY CLEAN!
Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.
"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
Yo mama so disgusting, she hangs toilet paper to dry after she wiped with them.
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"
The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇