Your friend took a shower and used Pantene but i got a watermelon to keep me clean
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
