You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
Whatβs the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"
You're so full of shit that the toilet's jealous.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
What vibrates and is 6 inches?
A toothbrush.
Q. Whatβs white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
A. Toothpaste.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldnβt find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
