He jizzes canned cheese.
Humor
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor/tooter.
What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?
When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
Why did the Catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole?
Because someone asked him what he would do for a Klondike bar.
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
