Humor
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
I love having fun.
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
So I was playing on my phone, and my mom said to go and take the trash out, so I pick up my sister and threw her in the garbage bin and said, "Mom told me to." And when I came back in, my mom said not to do that ever again, but then I told her that she says not to lie, so I was doing the right thing. đź‘Ť
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
If it is called a forehead, what happened to the five-head, six-head, and seven-head?
If a clown farted, would it smell funny?
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
I came here to laugh.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.