Hows jokes
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Memes
Relatable
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.