Hows jokes
I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
A little girl asks her mum, "Mummy how was I born?"
Her mother smiled and replied: "Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth, and I took care of it every single day."
"The seed slowly grew more and more leaves, and in a few months it turned into a beautiful, healthy plant. So me and Daddy took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we fucked without a condom!"
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
Memes
It's true though
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
How I Punch my Brother: Wooden Sword.
How he is telling Dad: Diamond Sword.
How hard my Dad is gonna punch me: Warden Punch.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
How does a disabled man go to church? He can't, there's no ramp.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
How do you help a starving cannibal?
You give him a hand!