Hows

Hows jokes

Teacher

    • One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

  • 5

    • Baby

    • How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

  • 0

    • Mississippi

    • My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

  • 3

    • Lesbian

    • In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

  • 0

    • Man

    • Would make any day better. If you don’t understand this then research “shaiden rouge.” She is a scientist who explains how this could improve somebody’s mental state.

    A collage with two images. On the left, a woman is putting her hair up in a ponytail from a close-up. On the right, there is a woman putting her hair up in a ponytail, in two different images. Text on the top says: "when your man is having a rough day and says nothing can fix it."
    Hows memes

    Death

    • Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?

    How do you think Princess Diana died?

    ...Too soon?

  • 2

    • Slavery

    • At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.

  • 1

    • Man

    • A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks, "How long am I going to live?"

    The doctor says, "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says, "10".

    The man asks, "Ten what?"

    Then the doctor keeps going, "6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1".

  • 2

    • Dad

    • A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

    The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

  • 0

    • Name

    • A young boy is in a tepee with his father, just after his sister's naming ceremony. Curious to how it works, he asks his dad, "Father, why is my sister's name Tulip?"

    His father responds, "That is her name because a tulip was the first thing she saw when she first opened her eyes."

    The boy was still puzzled. "What about big brother Sparrow?"

    "His name is Sparrow because a sparrow landed on him when he first began walking."

    The boy finally asked how he was named. "Well, we decided to name you the same way as your sister."

    The boy nods with understanding, "Thank you, father."

    "No problem, Two-Dogs-Fucking."

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