Hows jokes
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
How do mountains see? They peek.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
How was copper wire invented?
Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
How do terrorists feed their babies?
Here comes the airplane...
HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
Out of a catalogue. 😁