Hows

Hows jokes

Step

    • How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:

    1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝

    These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.

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    • Accident

    • I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

    Dandruff

    • How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?

    Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!

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    • Hows memes

    Life

    • Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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    • Finger

    • People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

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    • Gift

    • Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

    "I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

    "I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

    And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

    A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

    "The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

    To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

    To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

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    • Canada

    • How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?

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    • Cat

    • In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.

    With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.

    Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.

    Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.

    A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.

    With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.

    Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.

    But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.

    And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.

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    • Woman

    • I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.

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