Hows jokes
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
How did Stephen Hawking become a billionaire?
He won the F1 Wheelchair race.
I made a house for orphans and...
they had no clue how to use it.
"How do celebrities stay cool?"
"They have many fans!"
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."
How do you see past that forehead?
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜