Hows jokes
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel!
Lancaster: Are you sure about that?
DB: huh?
Lancaster: I have 4 barrels!
DB: WHAT!?
Penta Barrel: I got 5!
DB: *insert becoming uncanny*
Dual Hexagon shotgun: I got 12!
The others: HOW!?
*and that's how an argument started.*
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.