Hows jokes
How do you spell "I. P. With U?"
Akbar: How many crows are there, Birbal?
Birbal: 8,971.
Akbar: What if there are fewer?
Birbal: Then some crows went on vacation to visit their relatives.
Akbar: What if there are more?
Birbal: Then some came on vacation here to visit their relatives.
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
These two guys were texting each other.
Guy 1: How are you?
Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*
Guy 1: ???
Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)
How do terrorists feed their babies?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
I just overheard this but:
How do you make a party in space?
You planet.
It's amazing how BLESSEDBRIAN manages to keep his head in the clouds while his FEET are FIRMLY PLANTED in mediocrity.
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist.
Words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
But numbers can. (Lol)
Sup guys, how are you?
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.