How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark
*Titanic was sinking. Passenger: How far are we from land? Captain: Two miles. Passenger: Which direction? Captain: Down.
Friend:How dark is your humor? Me:It picks cotton
How do emo's compliment each other?
They say " I like your cuts g"
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/
They lost two towers.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
How do you get four prostitutes on one chair? You turn it upside down
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Hi, Welcome to Dave's Orphanage you make them we take them how may I help you?
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard
How to you trick a catholic priest into using the glory hole at a adult bookstore? tell him it is a confessional booth
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
