Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
How did the Apple and the emo fall off the tree at the same time?
Because Paul Walker crashed into it.
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.
How did Michael Jackson die?
Because he danced like a zombie!
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
