Hows jokes
How do you piss off a feminist? You rape her.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.
How to fart:
Let it go, let it go.
How do you make an idiot say how?
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Why did Bruce Jenner cross the road?
To see how the other side felt!
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?
One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"
The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."
How do terrorists feed their children?
"Here comes the airplane!"
How do you think they found out cows produce milk?
Two kids having fun in the barn.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane, and here comes the second one."
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your sisters pussy taste funny