Hows jokes
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
How do you flatten curves?
With an abortion.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
How do women hold their liquor? By the ears.
How does a blind person wipe their ass?
With braille toilet paper.
How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.