Hows jokes
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.