Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
You’ll parsley believe how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
How did I get to Iraq? I ran.
How do you sex?
With penis!
Jajajajja funny joke epic laugh. I have been detained, please help!
Hi, how are you today?
How long is it?
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
