Howe jokes
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
Memes
godd
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
How much work does a skeleton get done?
A SKELE-TON!
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
How to escape your black school teacher in detention?
(Easy)
Turn off the lights!
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
People say that they can read people's faces; then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
Race car backwards is race car, but if you turn race car sideways, that’s how Paul Walker got sent to God’s inbox.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.