How do u make a sad person jump?
a bridge
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb? Only one.... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through something so small?
How did micheal jackson get away with it? He's a smooth criminal
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started she said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked my dad he said it all started with Adam and Eve so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
A few kids were talking about how big there housed were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. 1 little boy said, bet I have the biggest home. To everyone's supprise he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
MY mum once told me how do u spell mississippi and i said misisipi but she said no its goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i and i luaghed when she said pp,then she said why are you laughing i tried saying u said pp but i was laughing to hard
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
imagine getting a call and it says "welcome to Davids orphanage you make them we take them how may we help you.
When I see lover's names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
How do you spell ihop
Then spell ihop and say ness
One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
