I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
How do we know that the ocean is friendly? It waves.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
