Howe jokes

Mississippi

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

Woman

How are Kentucky Fried Chicken and a woman the same?

Once you take away the legs and the breasts, you’re left with one greasy box to put your bone in.

Memes

Gay Guy

How many gay guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one... But it takes the entire emergency room to take it out.

Gay

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Elephant

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through something so small?"

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

Oven

Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?

Man

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

Friend

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.

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  • Whopper

    Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

    A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

    Patient

    How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    To get to the other side!

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  • Rape

    i raped a dog. When asked how her experience was, she said ruff

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