Howe jokes
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
Question: How did the cat cross the river?
Answer: It didn’t, it drowned.
Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.
Memes
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How do you leave an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?
"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
You know the difference between happy tailgaters and angry tailgaters?
Happy tailgaters know how to throw a party.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜