How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
Howe Jokes
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
How do you punish a blind kid?
Move to a new house.
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
How to get rich:
Step 1: Tell an orphan he will get a family.
Step 2: Knock out the orphan.
Step 3: Cut open the orphan.
Step 4: Well there [are] organs.
Step 5: Do it again.
And nobody will call the cops 'cause they got no family.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
