How do you stop a baby from crying? You drown it.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
How do you get 'Dick' from Richard??? ..... Ask him nicely
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over
I Googled "How to start a Wildfire." It gave me 28,452 matches.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
How did the orphan operate the phone? He didn't. He didn't understand the homepage.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer? A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Your mama is so stupid she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
How to make an orphan die
Tell then to yell until their folks come home.
