House

House Jokes

Slave

Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!

Sale

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

Neverland Ranch

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Post

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

Mama

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Basement

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Orphan

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have a home screen.

Orphan

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

Orphan

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

Wheelchair

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Poker

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Murder

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Basement

What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?

Both of those are commonly found in basements.

Water

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Water.

Water who?

Water you waiting for, just let me in!

Mom

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

Orphan

What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?

One is allowed in the house.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.