House jokes

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Just told Putin to get some b*tches.

Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce down south?

Nothing. Someone's losing a trailer.

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To buy a house.

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have a home screen.

Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

What's the difference between me and my best friends?

At least one of us has a house.

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.