A guy told a beautiful girl "hey I want to make love to you if I throw 2000$ when you go to pick it up that's when I'll go is that okay?" She called her husband and he said "okay but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down" Four hours later she shows up to her house and tell her husband "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS"
So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."
in america 1 in 10 houses there are a paedophiles
not me i live next to a smoking hot 8 year old
:What’s an orphans favorite Netflix show Fuller house
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police. But it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
Guys I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things. *proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
Yo mama so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her he died
me: why did the chicken cross the road? my friend: the get to the other side? me: no, to get to the idiot's house my friend: oh me: knock knock my friend: who's there me: the chicken
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of peoples houses? They can’t find the key and don’t know when to come in.
i was walking and i saw a girl crying and she told me to take her doll house and i asked why?she said because i dont have one
Knock knock whose there tornado tornado who tornado going to suk yo house up
My teacher started talking about houses then I said I don't want that informansion.
You walk in to a old ran down house and you see that a light is on you walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room and you run to the exit to leave but when you get to the door somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go in to the house more and you see another room with a light on so you go in when you go In “flip” all the light go off then yo7 see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says “let the game show begin” yiu see other people next to you and they seem scared then a wall comes down yiu see a optical cores and yi7 go on and then a chainsaw comes at yiu and it misses you but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies
Part two comeing soon this is inspired by the scp foundation have a nice summer
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because was I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex ad gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relived. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. Nitrogen! The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good nigh-“
Your so dam ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
