House jokes
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."
Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"
The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."
So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.
Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"
The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course it can, a house can't jump.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.
Memes
so true
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.
Because it’s empty inside.
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Why can't orphans play House Flipper?
'Cause they don't know what to do.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.