House jokes

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

Don’t like this post, or else I will go to your house and eat you! 😈

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Why can't orphans play House Flipper?

'Cause they don't know what to do.

Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have a home screen.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To buy a house.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:

1. A Lambo

2. A House

3. UR MOM

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Just told Putin to get some b*tches.

Waiting for 3801 missiles to strike my house.

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?

They get set free.

You know orphans are kinda like a house with no people in it.

Because it’s empty inside.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.