Hotness Jokes

What Did The Dirt Say To The Embers? You Look Smoking Hot.

Why was the stadium so hot? Because all the fans left!

I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?

Rrrrrapeit

Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".

My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS

Where do you buy a dishwasher. Hot singles in your area

What was Steven Hawking's favourite toy?

Hot Wheels

what do you get after a leper has a hot bath.... porridge.

A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".

I like my women how i like my coffee......... HOT

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire hot wheels

what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub? steamed vegetables.

Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real

I would roast you but your already so hot.

Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't...............

So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"