Hotness jokes

How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?

Cremation.

What did President Ford say when he met Betty?

"I am Gerald Ford and you’re hot."

Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.

One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.

Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?

A. Hot cross bunnies!

One time in the butt. Two times in the butt. Three times in the butt makes a slut hot and wet.

One hot day a cow wanted some shade.

He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."

Why did the guy get the hose?

Because the girl was smoking hot.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot Wheels.

You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.

Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.

Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?

A: Because it tasted like shit.

What is your summer name? Hot.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

Animals are just... so hot!

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?

It reminds him of last night.

"Fuck" and "sex" are hot, which is fire.

I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.