Hotness

Hotness jokes

Teacher

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

Woman

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

Paedophile

In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.

Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.

Orphan

I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled, "Hot wheels!"

Memes

Girl

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

Vegetable

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

Donkey

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

Kid

There's a disabled kid in my class, right? Oops, should've brought my Hot Wheels tracks.

Orphan

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

Dog

Why was the dog staying in the shade?

Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!

Side

Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?

Because it's on the burning side.

Sex

Sex is like pizza.

When it’s hot, it’s great.

When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson

Why does Michael Jackson avoid Pepsi? They gave him a hot one.

Email

A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.

The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"