What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
I killed 5 zombies and stabbed a vampire with a steak, and then I started to wonder why they were carrying bags of candy.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
You walk into an old, run-down house and you see that a light is on. You walk over to the light and you see blood all over the room, and you run to the exit to leave, but when you get to the door, somehow it is locked from the outside and you have no choice but to go into the house more. You see another room with a light on, so you go in. When you go in, "flip," all the lights go off, then you see a bright light and then a screen shows up and it says, "Let the game show begin." You see other people next to you and they seem scared, then a wall comes down, you see optical cords and you go on, and then a chainsaw comes at you and it misses you, but the other kid behind you gets hit and dies.
Part two coming soon. This is inspired by the SCP Foundation. Have a nice summer.
