Horror jokes
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
I've just started reading my first ever Braille horror story, and I think that something scary is about to happen. I can feel it.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.