Horror jokes
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement? I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
Why do prostitutes love servicing zombies? They always leave a tip.
Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.