Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.
Not coming soon!
What did Bonnie say to Chica?
"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
My grandpa's last words were, "Why is there a body in my kitchen?"
No witnesses.
A vampire stalks you into a field of corn. The stakes have never been higher...
Skinny deformed creature in the distance.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
What did a skeleton say when he's alone?
"I'm so bonely..."
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
More than five because my basement is still dark.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
I eat kids.
Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
