why do orphans not like july 24th?? because its parents day
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE🤬😡
What did the orphan want for Christmas.
Parents
Why does an orphan’s calendar only have 363 days?
There are no Father’s or Mother’s Days on their calendar.
An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal." The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's there last holiday for them but at least there still hanging on...
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
What do christmas decorations and dead people have in common?
They both hang from a tree!
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
why does the emo hate christmas the ordamonts get hanged and they dont
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball you get a white Christmas
If iI don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights wont be the only thing hanging from the roof
whats the difference between family and cats...
cats wont abuse u at christmas
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa clause.
Why do orphans go on holiday To see what family is like
2 gays are getting ready for Christmas...they are expecting a big package in the Male!
