Holiday jokes
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,
"Please send me a sibling!"
Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"
Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead, we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!