Holiday jokes
Hey guys, I have a question.
Doesn't everyone's parents tell them don't take candy from strangers? Then what is Halloween?
Stories like Rudolph and Wonder show that different means worse.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Nun's worst holiday? Norfolk.
Nun's best holiday? Bangkok.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.
What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?
He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.
Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.
Why did the pumpkin man not go to the party? He had his hand stuck in a treasure chest.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
I put the Christmas balls in my sack.