Hole jokes
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
My forehead so big,
big like Biggie Smalls. I love cock, please bum my hole.
Hi.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks, "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?"
The little boy replies with, "Yes please, I love bunnies!"
The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said, "Can you see it yet?"
The little boy curious says, "No, where is it?"
The man says, "Dig a little deeper, he runs into the hole when he gets scared!"
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
I went to the bathroom and into a stall to see a hole in the wall. It reminded me of "The Lickable Wallpaper" from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory." I jokingly started licking. Though, the carrot tasted musky and kinda wrinkly.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.