A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde, when she turns him down , he goes to her and says " C'mon I'm a fun guy" .
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by and orphanage but then relies, there's no speed bumps here...
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather. Good thing is, since he hit his head he can't remember either.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
What grade does Sherlock hits on girls from?
Elementary my dear Watson
Why did Mary fall off the swings?
She got hit by a refrigerator.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
There once was a woman who had 10 kids their names where: Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One'Hundred Everyone but Ninety died, she also had 10 kids. These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing, they had him for 2 years. Until he got hit by a car. Only Ninety's kids know about this.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo. KId: Why? Dad: I clean up animal s hit at a zoo.
Your mum is so fat she gets hit by a parked car
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
