Hit jokes
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
Son: Yo dawg, tell me a story.
Dad: Y'all motherfuckers ain't gon' believe dis shit, so there was dis fairy aight, she had wings, so she flys into a KFC, and comes out with wings, chicken wings.
Also, why did Hawking try to walk across the road? His wheelchair only goes 1 mph, so he got hit by a bus.
My dad hits me :(
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.