Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.
I'm not saying I hate you, but if you got hit by a bus, I'd be driving that bus.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today?
The bus driver hit Sally.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
