History jokes
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
"History's repeating itself. WWIII is coming, and the second Russia nukes the U.S., they're all getting fucked."
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
Kenneth's hairline [is] friends with Moses.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered Dominos and got Jets.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"
Yeah, I stopped joking about 9/11. My jokes usually just ended up crashing and burning.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
Helen Keller def faked it.
What is the difference between the Titanic and the Twin Towers?
They both went down.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
Why did America lose the chess match?
They were down 2 towers.