History jokes

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."

Osama bin Laden back from the dead!!! 💣💣💣💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🌇

9/11 was a round of Clash of Clans; they knocked down 2 towers, not 3.

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What was Osama bin Laden's favorite drink?

A double Manhattan.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.

America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."

Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"

When they said Titanic was "unsinkable," then they said, "The World Trade Centers was uncollapsible."

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They told her to go find the light.

I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.

Steel led to World War 2.

What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"

What did the Titanic say while sinking?

"It's going down."

A man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a Pole.

Then the Pole says, "I surrender, Heil Hitler!"