History

History Jokes

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.

I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?

From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.