History jokes
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
Which tower is better at playing catch? The south tower, obviously. It caught 2!
These 9/11 jokes are just plane wrong.
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.