History jokes
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers donβt rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What did the Americans call the Battle of Midway after Pearl Harbor?
The Jap trap.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered a cheese pizza, but instead they got plane.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. π
Yo mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOLπ€£
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
U.S.A: No Queen?
England: No towers?
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
"hipede hop hiped d the twin towers will be gone tomoreo at 8:43"