*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
Why did the Titanic sink? It loved the iceberg!
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
Who discovered Africa? Africos Nandos.
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?
They both had an open mind.
A wild Iceberg appears! Titanic uses ram! It is not very effective. (Titanic sinks.)
Want my opinion on Mongolia? It has its pros and Khans.
Why were people sad when John F. Kennedy got shot? All he got was head.
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
Somebody asked Rosa Parks what color the Skittles were, but she answered everything was black and white.
You hear about the Roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
