Him jokes
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
A girl walks up to her dad to ask for a dress for prom and he says, "Suck my dick and I'll buy you a dress." She does it and says to him, "Dad, your dick tastes like shit." And he says, "Yeah, your brother wanted a car."
Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"
I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."