Him jokes

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

Why is Penaldo's favorite club Real Mallorca?

Because it reminds him of Kathryn Mallorca🥵

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."