Him jokes

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

What are Michael Jackson's favorite sodas? Yoo-hoo-hoo and Mountain Dew-hoo-hoo. What cola company should people get to keep him at bay? Pep-see-hee.

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

Why is Penaldo's favorite club Real Mallorca?

Because it reminds him of Kathryn Mallorca🥵

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

The emo kid went to give a tree a high five.

The tree left him hanging.

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."