Him jokes

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

How do you help a starving cannibal?

You give him a hand!

The emo kid went to give a tree a high five.

The tree left him hanging.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.