Him jokes

How do you anger a white Christian nationalist?

Tell him the truth.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.

I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?

Nothing, they blew him up.

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

Why did he quit the internet?

People kept on (rick) rolling him.

My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.

A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.

The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"

Why does Darth Vader always choke people?

Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him, "Don't skip leg day."

The emo kid went to give a tree a high five.

The tree left him hanging.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

My grandad broke his legs.

To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.