So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”.

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”.

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”.

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”?

Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.



What do you call a hill with cows on it?

A Moo-ntain



Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high grabbed Jill’s thigh and said I know you wanna, Jill said yes lifted up her dress and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.



Everytime i come in the kitchen my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food like the fried chicken the mashed potatoes the collard greens mac and cheese and the corn bread. Then i said i wanna eat some of that shit i love soul food then i told her you keep it up your fat ass is going to big like house on a haunted hill.



Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.


boss ass b....

what do you call Mexican’s running down a hill



Tommy G.

Jack and Jill went up the hill for drunkin’ wild sex, Jack went by Jill to get a lick, and watched Jill get off on a stick



Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond?” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”



Jack and Jill went upthe hill so Jack could lick Jills Candy. Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because jills real name is randy, and she had no candy just he gave jack a handy.


Tommy G.

Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a viagra, Jill was drunk fell to her knee, Jack had his chance did Jill till 3



what is the funniest hill in the world called? hill-arious



why are hill billy so weird because there name is billy






Jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun jack got mad kicked jill in the ass because she couldn’t make him cum



Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter? Jill came down and she had Two Fifty! Oh what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)



your butt looks so big its bigger then sam hill


Jack didn't Write this

One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really really horny. Jack who hadn’t stuck it in for a few weeks was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. “1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck” she said as she stroked his ever hardening one-eyed snake. “Yeah, i’ll have both of them” said Jack who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that they both contracted AIDS, and died of it as they did not see a doctor. THE END



Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pale of water Jack come down and then Jill came tumbling after so they had a baby…



2 gay kids made their version of the jack,and jill nursery rhyme. jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of latte’s.


Tommy G.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could wack off Jack, Jill yelled out Jack, where is your sack? Said I’m not Jack I’m your friend Nancy