Hey jokes

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.

God: *SILENCE*

Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!

God: *SILENCE*

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Hey, I never knew we had a planet in our body!

What do people ask on a Friday night?

"Hey, wanna go to the Barb?"

Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!

"Hey, Prince, I want to say, "Don't die, I love you!"

I am bored. Hey, Gwen, want to chat?