Hey jokes

Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Hey John, how are you going?

Helium, yeah good, what about you?

(Hey Liam)

When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."

When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

Hey, America. No towers? :(

I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.

Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.

Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!

Plagiarism!

Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?

Dad: . . .

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

No, I'm already looking at one.

Hey, what do you call a beta simp?

You call me the beta simp.