I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
Me talks to an orphan: hey I have a joke Orphan: go on then Me: your family tree
U u u u u u I haveggdvk hey apple
orange:hey apple apple hey apple: what? orange: orange you glad i didn't say apple again hahaha
Hey Prince, Let's chat here ok? Love you!
Hey can i tell you a joke about pencils never mind its pointless.
Hey gwen can we please chat I am really bored! love u! 😘😘😘😘😘
Me: hey, were you born on a highway? My enemy: uh, no, why? Me: because that’s where most accidents happen.
hey do you wanna hear a joke ? no im already looking at one
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
